yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
