Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
