and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
