Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
