A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize