Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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