every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
