I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
