last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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