I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
