this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
