just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
