Your mouth is God's brothel.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing