she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.