did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??