Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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  (563): The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/35be
  Replies (16) Good night (898) Bad night (4174)
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6817) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

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  (778): No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain' http://tfl.nu/2rma
  Replies (28) Good night (1723) Bad night (7732)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now

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  (952): I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now http://tfl.nu/4ogy
  Replies (11) Good night (3753) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.

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  (785): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call. http://tfl.nu/1vmr
  Replies (8) Good night (3695) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.

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  (707): I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/x6ut
  Replies (26) Good night (1308) Bad night (4035)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra

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  (719): There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra http://tfl.nu/4qki
  Replies (2) Good night (1182) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1798) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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  (603): YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN http://tfl.nu/ns4x
  Replies (16) Good night (1767) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.

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  (219): I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying. http://tfl.nu/c4tp
  Replies (4) Good night (1403) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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  (626): My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing, http://tfl.nu/i8yq
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking

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  (513): He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something (513): Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking http://tfl.nu/a3rg
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

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  (303): Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk. http://tfl.nu/7e65
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready

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  (404): All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready http://tfl.nu/n5jr
  Replies (2) Good night (1374) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (318)

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