I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize