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• (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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• (661): View more from California

  I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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• (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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