New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.