I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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