I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
