if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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