question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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