so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
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Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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