Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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