YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
