Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
