I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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