So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My vagina is officially offended.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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