Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
