the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
