So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize