I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
