So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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