you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize