9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
