Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
