Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
