Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
