She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
