Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
