He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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