It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
