then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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