if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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