no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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