i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
