She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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