ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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