Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Terrible idea I love it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize