You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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