I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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