i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
