Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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