There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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