this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
