so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
