I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
