Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
