Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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