take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
