You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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