On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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