Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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