OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
