It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
